So tired today, just got back after being out since 8 am. First I had to work on science olympiad all morning and we didn’t even get much done because the person getting the supplies didn’t get there until 11 and my partner didn’t get there until I was about to leave… useless man.. So I went to go hang out with Wandii, Lysa, Jennifer, and Le at the mall.. lots and lots of walking.. haha, so unproductive, just walked around for like 3 hours, sat for 2 hours. Yum, froyo and the best french fries I’ve ever tasted in my life haha. So good :] <3 Haha.. random pick up lines.
Hey baby, what’s your sign?
I’ve got skittles in my mouth, do you want to taste the rainbow?
Alright so, remember the post a little while ago? “Leveled Off” Eh.. had another drop.. I don’t know.. it’s just getting worse.. then on top of this depression, I’m incredibly stressed out.. so much stuff to do.. so many APs to deal with.. so many club things to deal with.. colleges.. scholarships.. damn it.. I think I’ma burn out soon.. I need someone to lean on.
I think that’s about it for this update. Heeey, how you doooooing~?
Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Mhm :] What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? None o: What was your FIRST job? Illegal selling of snacks and drinks at school haha What was your FIRST car? None >< Who was the FIRST person to text you today? Christy o: Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? Christy >< Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. Crosby~ Bzzzz Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Korea :D Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? I dunno, that’s a hard one. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Don’s House :D Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? My Brother o: Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? Never been to one >< What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? p90x X Stretch What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Never been to one of these either FIRST broken bone? never ^_^ FIRST piercing? None ^_^ FIRST foreign country you’ve gone to? Korea~ FIRST movie you remember seeing? Power rangers o: When was your FIRST detention? Never had one~ Who was your FIRST roommate? Um do workshops count? if so I don’t remember If you had one wish, what would it be? For us to live happily ever after.. <3 What is something you would learn if you had the chance? How to manipulate matter with my mind Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for your hand in marriage/ you asked to marry? Er.. No? haha What was the first sport you were involved in? Basketball What were the first lessons you ever took? Piano What is the first thing you do when you get home? Take a nice long nap~ Who do you think will be the next person to post this? We’ll just have to see, won’t we~
Alright so, I suppose today I broke out of my downward spiral. I can’t go on living with this feeling so I’m just cutting it out of my heart right now and I’m moving forward. I don’t regret putting myself out there, getting hurt is just a part of life. It’s unavoidable so there’s no point in letting it get me down. :D
Eh, well I know I don’t update much.. but yeah, the few weeks before this one were probably the happiest weeks of my entire life. A special someone made a major impact on my outlook on life and just who I am in general.. I thought I had finally found that perfect someone.. that I wouldn’t ever be hurt again.
Well last saturday ended that happy streak and completely destroyed me, broke me down, knocked down all my hopes. Ever since then, just been having a spiral of depression, I’m kind of trying to claw myself out.. but.. I feel like even if I do claw myself out.. just as this time, and the time before, I’ll just be knocked back down.. So I’m not putting much effort this time. I’m done being hurt for awhile. That’s what happens when you’re too nice.
I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve let people take advantage of me. and I’ve accepted way less than I deserve. But, I’ve learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I know better next time and I won’t settle for anything less than I deserve.