Sometimes you need a breakdown. One of those yell at everyone, cry until you fall, and can’t breathe kind of breakdowns. Then hopefully, you'll feel a bit better. And if not, then at least people know you’re not okay.
Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else. ~ Leonardo da Vinci
Murphy’s Law: Everything that bad that can happen will happen.
That’s my life. I’m so tired of it.. spent weeks preparing for Science Olympiad just for it to go horribly. Great.. whatever, why should I expect any better? That’s how it’s always been for me, work my hardest at something or invest all of myself into someone and in the end.. nothing. Why should I even try anymore? I feel like some of my friends are drifting away.. I in part blame myself but at the same time, they put in no effort what so ever. Sometimes I feel like I don’t exist or that I’m insignificant to them. Once again, why should I even try anymore? No one is going to reply to this blog anyway.
G1- You know I have always cared about you, you know I liked you, you know I have feelings too. Even though you hurt me countless times, I’ll live, just keep going ya know. I just want you to be happy even if I’m not part of that happiness. As always, my advice and caring will remain unbiased.
G2- We had something. You know we had something good, so why’d you just go and throw it away for no good reason. I know you got hurt in the past by your ex, but you know what? You were happy with me and then you threw me away and now you're back to being depressed, what does that tell you? Nothing apparently, sick of your crap. I don’t want to like someone who can just throw someone away that they care about just because they don’t want to get hurt, despite knowing how kind and harmless that person is to them. I’m not sorry, I’m done with you.
Friend- I’m fine with immature people, hell, I like hanging with them, they’re more interesting then up tight, mature people who don’t know how to have fun, but when they’re are immature as you, can’t hold a conversation, only care about your own issues, that begins to wane on my nerves. You’re a good person, but you need a lot of improvement before I get so sick of trying to hold a conversation that I just give up.
That’s it for now. Tired of life, screw it just smile and pretend.
On the outside, I'm calm, collected, & ready. But on the inside, I'm an emotional wreck. Just because I can deal with negative things well, that doesn't mean that i don't stress out. I'm no robot; I have feelings. So when something bad happens & i put on a strong face, that doesnt mean that i'm not hurting on the inside.
To be honest, I'm so confused. I don't know what I want in life, I don't even know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be anymore of me left.
When you get to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty or looks. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body, but not your heart. That’s why when you really connect with a person, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.